Make Peace With Your Dream

Often, when we are told to "make peace with" something, it's in a challenging context, as in "make peace with" your current weight, bank account, relationship, etc. And indeed, the only way to move forward toward whatever your desired goal is to first make peace with wherever you're at in that journey. So yes, by all means, do that!

But the one "make peace with" we rarely think about is to "make peace with your dreams." Too often, we dismiss our dreams and desires as too far-fetched, impossible, unreachable, and we stop before we start. Or we start, and then halfway there we figure, "Oh, this is ridiculous; I'll never make it" so we give up on our dreams.

Don't do that to yourself! Did you know that what makes for success--at anything and everything--is the dynamite combination of passion and perseverance? It's what researcher Angela Duckworth PhD calls "grit," sometimes thought of as "great results in time." No one exemplifies passion plus perseverance better than Jahkee Johnson. Jahkee was born with shortened legs and deformities in his knees and ankles, which caused both legs to be amputated when he was just an infant. But Jahkee had a passion; he wanted to play in his high school's marching band, and he wanted to play--of all things--the tuba.

Now, most would say "impossible"! A tuba is a big heavy instrument, and how is a boy going to march without legs, much less play the tuba and march at the same time? But Jahkee made peace with his dream. He knew what he wanted, and he was sure he was going to make it happen. Period. With that kind of determination, you can guess the rest of the story. At 15, Jahkee began marching in his high school's band with the help of padded shoes so he can walk right along with his bandmates, first with a tuba and now a trombone. Sure, it took a few weeks for him to get the hang of the shoes and the marching, but what the heck?! That's the nature of perseverance.

What's the dream you've given up on? I'm not talking about a whim, or an idle fantasy, as in "I want to be a millionaire"--who doesn't? A passion would be "I want to be a millionaire. I have ideas worth the time and effort and creativity it takes to succeed at my dream." So what's the dream you have, with passion behind it, that you need to make peace with in order to succeed?

Because once you do that, once you make peace with your dream, you can draw on the energy of the Universe to persist until you make that dream come true. Here's to your success!

More on Jahkee: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/humankind/2018/02/13/trombone-player-no-legs-leads-marching-band-and-off-field/312099002/

Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr. Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. She is the author of "Happy Healthy... Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right" (MindLab Publishing). You Matter. You Count. You Are Important. Visit http://www.noellenelson.com, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings,

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The Smart Ways to Develop Goal Setting Skills

Stop procrastination -

Procrastination can happen at any time. It occurs when we avoid tasks that we find unpleasant. It hinders your long-term success. It is not enough to identify that you are avoiding a project. You should be able to fight procrastination by taking active steps. This process requires time and determination but once you take control of your schedule and work environment you can surely beat procrastination by reducing the time in delaying things each day. In turn, you will be able to improve your productivity and accomplish your goals. This will increase your Goal setting skills.

Follow Four P's -

When establishing goals, it is important to remember the Four P's of goal setting. They need to be positive, personal, possible, and prioritized.

· Be Positive - This helps in focusing on what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid. Being positive can always improve your chances for success.

· Make them personal - It is important for the goals to be made personal. Until and unless when don't make them personal we don't act on them effectively. There is a different impact of being personal and impersonal in our lives.

· Possible - Be honest to yourself, and while creating goals, make sure they are possible. When you set impossible goals, you set yourself up for failure and disappointment.

· Prioritize - The goals that are important to you need to be prioritized first. This will help you improve your Goal setting skills. They deserve your special attention as the rest of things would depend on their accomplishment. You need to choose these goals while prioritizing them depending on your passions, and make sure that they cover all areas of your life including professional, health, personal growth, finances, etc.

Stay motivated -

In order to achieve your goals, it is important that you find ways to motivate yourself. Always keep in mind those strong memories that create positive feelings. They will encourage and motivate you to keep moving forward and reach your goals. It is also a good idea to pen down your goals from time to time. Writing down goals creates a visual reminder of where you are going.

It is always a good thing to keep a track of your progress. You should know what you have accomplished over a particular period of time. Tracking your progress will help you see your accomplishments and which areas require more effort. Additionally, seeing the improvements that you make will motivate you to continue your hard work.

Goal setting is easy if you follow a simple strategy of making SMART Goals.

SMART stands for goals that are:

· S - Specific

· M - Measurable

· A - Attainable

· R - Relevant

· T - Time-bound

Keep this strategy in mind when setting goals to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Once you become explicit and detail oriented, execution of goals become easy.

To know about the best Personality development online course you can click on http://maximizesuccessacademy.com/goal-setting-and-getting-things-done/ or you can visit the Maximize Success Academy site on http://maximizesuccessacademy.com/

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Be Grateful And Count Your Blessings

 

We live in a world governed by the haves and have-nots. Where it is easy to want things

that we don’t have. Where everywhere we turn we are reminded of how little we have

rather than how much we do have. Where it is easy to take for granted everything that is

right in our lives and dwell on what is wrong. Where we forget to be thankful, appreciative,

and most importantly grateful.

For being grateful shifts your lens from what is lacking into enough. It allows you to look at

things differently. To see what is already present and good. It promotes optimism, develops mental strength, makes your feel more positive, and gives you greater happiness.

So make time each day to reflect on something you have in your life right now

that you are grateful for. Remember that when life gives you 1000 reasons to cry

show life you have 1000 reasons to smile. Count your blessings, say thank you,

be appreciative and practice gratitude daily.

Reference: (53) Be Grateful and Count your Blessings | Best Motivational Video - YouTube

Turn Your Curse Into A Blessing

We all suffer a "chronic" struggle in our life: deep fear or anxiety, constant anger, procrastination, envy, depression, scarcity reality, greed, bad timing, missed opportunities, rejection issues, feeling unlucky in love, power struggles, intrapersonal co-dependencies, alcoholism, workaholism... 

These (and many more) are all related to a deep perception of some sort of insufficiency or lack: lack of love, lack of appreciation, lack of happiness, lack of understanding, lack of connection, lack of recognition, lack of attention, lack of wealth, lack of health, lack of food, lack of knowledge, lack of security, lack of justice, etc. And that deep (and, most importantly, deeply distorted) perception of insufficiency drives us into situations where we feel almost cursed: we can never find someone to connect with deeply, we can never have enough money, we are frequently depressed, we always struggle with our boss at work, we can't control our anger... (Feel free to fill in the dots with "the story of your life", i.e. your "favourite" recurring struggle from the past 10-20 years of life experience.)

Now, were we born that way? Yes and no. Are we doomed to continue that way? Again - yes and no. You know that there are always two sides to the medal, right? And that the two sides are the exact opposites. In other words, if you are looking at Anger on one side of the medal, Serenity is on the other; if you are looking at Alcoholism on one of the sides, Sobriety is on the other; and if you are facing Procrastination on one side, you will invariably meet Decisive Action on the other side.

Importantly, we all carry at least one such medal in us, where the dualistic split of reality is taken to an extreme. Even more importantly, both sides of the medal are present in us simultaneously. In other words, the curse and the blessing are both there, at all times. As babies we normally connect to the "positive" side of the medal and we tend to spend more time feeling blessed. Then something goes wrong (i.e. life happens), and we turn to face the other side of the medal while starting to feel "cursed". Most important of all, your "curse" is actually a clue as to what innate talent and what innate strength you were born with.

Thus, fearful people have the greatest capacity for courage because fear and courage are on the two sides of the medal. Similarly, angry people have the greatest capacity for serenity, while vain people as well as pathological liars have the greatest capacity for authenticity; and alcoholics, of course, have the greatest capacity for sobriety.

Indeed, our blessing is our curse, but our curse is also our blessing. In other words, the curse and the blessing exist simultaneously and are two different ways of looking at the same thing. Importantly, there is a third force that needs to come into play here, if we are to tap into our innate potential for transformation and to connect with our internal capacity for greatness and happiness. 

This third force is frequently referred to as the Higher Self, or the Observer (some call it God), and embodies our ability to neutralize opposites by integrating them into one whole. So think of your angry self as a small self, and think of your serene self as another small self of yours. 

Now invoke your higher self and start to observe both of your small selves in a neutral, detached, non-judgmental way. In that moment, as you acknowledge and allow for the conflicting opposites to co-exist and gradually merge, you are collapsing a dualistic split into one whole, and right there you have access to options, possibilities and choice as to who you want to be and how you would like to respond to life situations.

Now, how do you invoke your higher self in practical terms? First, get some help through therapy (this may be optional for some). Next, go home and help yourself through meditation, contemplation and introspection practices (that's a must for all of us). Third, don't expect results overnight, and don't think that if you got it today, you have it for life. It's a process. Your smaller selves want it now, and want it all. But your higher self already has it all. So when you get worked up and impatient, go back to meditation, contemplation and introspection, i.e. connect with the higher self which already knows that you have everything in you to overcome the very thing that stops you from being all that you can be. Indeed, God doesn't give you a challenge that you can't deal with using your own internal resources only. So simply look deep inside of yourself for happiness does come from within.

Vyara Bridgeman is an Advanced Certified BodyTalk practitioner who works with patients from all over the world suffering a variety of physical, mental and emotional conditions. To find out more about Vyara's BodyTalk practice, what her clients say about her, and how she can help you achieve a balanced body-mind, visit: http://www.BodyTalk4Life.com

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Nine Life Lessons

This one is a bit of a departure from my typical article topics.

Recently I wrote a book about what I call "good-enough contentment." It's an allegory about a forty-something man who is unhappy with his life. After a magical train ride, he learns to define what contentment means in nine areas of his life: career, family, health, friendships, finances, leisure, spirituality, giving, and legacy. Writing the story caused me to look back at my own life--the things I did well and the many mistakes I made. It inspired me to write about nine nuggets that I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self. Some I would have done the same all over again, others radically different. All, however, are worth putting down in writing to spur your thinking about things you need to start, stop, or continue.

Here they are:

Career: Your career can't take the place of family, health, leisure, and friendships - In the movie The Family Man, Nicholas Cage's character is a hard-charging investment banker who gets to see what his life would have been like as a middle-class husband and father. He comes to realize that there's much more to life than business. By all means, continue to vigorously pursue your career aspirations, but not at the expense of other important areas of your life.

Family: Don't squander memories - My father worked very hard as a baker; so much so that he missed out on many family events. In his last years he told me how he regretted missing so many events and milestones with my five siblings and me. Don't look back on your life regretting not being there for the memory makers.

Health: If you don't decide to take care of yourself, the decision will be made for you - I had an emotional breakdown at age 30 due to running myself ragged both mentally and physically. I thought I could just keep pushing and tough things out. Wrong. I had no choice but to stop and make some changes to get myself healthy again. If you don't focus on taking care of your health, something out of your control will happen to force you into action.

Friendships: Have a couple of friends who would help you out at 2 am, no questions asked - Recently I was on vacation when a tenant in our rental property called and said the washing machine wasn't working. I was 3,000 miles away and couldn't get there, so I called a dear friend who was at the rental in 30 minutes and addressed the problem. Having a couple of close friends you can rely on to help you out of a jam is worth gold. Being someone your friend can rely on is just as important.

Finances: No one cares about your finances more than you - When I graduated from college, I bought three books on investing. Those books formed the foundation for my investing discipline. At times, though, I let others who didn't have my best interests at heart manage investments on my behalf. Now I manage every dollar myself and keep current on investment strategies. Putting your money in the hands of a paid advisor will ensure bread is put on his or her table along with your money. Do as much of this on your own as you can.

Leisure: Work/life balance means slowing down, not speeding up - I've known way too many people who worked 60+ hours during the week only to cram "life" activities in the weekend. They had work/life balance, but it was achieved by running 100 miles per hour. Leisure time should include time to relax and recharge, so use at least some of it to rest, and be careful about trying to fit too many things into your life.

Spirituality: Walk the talk on your beliefs - Whatever your spiritual beliefs (mine are Christian), don't be a Jekyll and Hyde in what you say and what you do. Cursing up a storm in meetings during the work week then heading into church on Sunday just doesn't square. It's not about judging your belief system; it's more about ensuring your actions align to your beliefs.

Giving: Give out of love, not out of convenience or obligation - My son loves to cook. He regularly volunteers to cook and deliver meals to families in need. He loves to give of his time and money to help families who need a hot meal enjoy his cooking. The quantity and type of giving is up to you, just do it out of love and enjoy the gratification you get in return.

Legacy: Live to your eulogy - A number of years ago I created a personal purpose statement. After a lot of soul searching, I came up with: I will work to help others to help themselves and not simply enable them. When I die, I want people to say three words at my funeral: He helped me. If you have a personal purpose or mission statement, live it.

My hope is that you, my readers, might be able to glean something from my nine life lessons. If I help you do or think differently about some aspect of your life, then mission accomplished. Thank you for helping me live out my purpose statement. 

Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com

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